Two cowboys ride into town and hitch their horses to the rail.As they both dismount one walks around to the back of his horse and kisses its ass.

"Say Tex,why did you do that?" asks his partner.

"Well Hank,I have got chapped lips."

"Does that cure it?"

"No,but it as sure as hell stops me licking them."

Lost my job recently and quickly ran out of cash. I sent the wife out looking for tricks and after the first night she came back with £40 and 25 pence. I was a bit put out and asked “Who gave you 25 pence?” to which she replied “all of them”.

The judge pronounces “I hardly think, Mr Mouse, that your wife having bucked teeth is grounds for divorce”. Mickey says “I didn’t say she had bucked teeth, I said she was f00king Goofy”

Got a great Halloween costume...long blonde wig,Big gold chain,Tracksuit and a Big Cigar...that should scare the little sods.

Police investigating the Jimmy Saville abuse claims have said there could be a ring of paedophiles within the BBC and Jeremy Beadle may have had a small hand in it.

The Pakistani community of Rochdale have decided to honour Sir Jimmy Saville by erecting a life size statue of him at the cities central mosque to honour both his work with young girls and the inspiration he provided to Pakistani men

constipated mathematician,worked it out with a pencil.

if you want to lose your virginity,jim`ll fix it.

Bbc are bracing them selfs for more accusations after a witness has come forward and claimed he saw Rod Hull fisting a young bird

Ive heard jeremy beadles only got a small cock , but on the other hand its massive

Rangi Chase signs for Hull.

Omari caro signs for the dobbins hahahahaha .